Keep going. Keep showing up!
This originally was sent in our news letter in January 2024, which you can sign up for here if desired.
I began writing this one week after running the California International Marathon (CIM). Over the last 8 weeks, there has been a lot of reflection on the race generally, how it went vs how I wanted it to go, the build up, etc. and I would like to share some thoughts as many of you may be able to relate or would like to learn for future experiences.
Let's start with the race as a whole. This was my first marathon, but have participated in or was with my wife or friends for many other races from 800m to 100 milers. CIM is a great race from the expo to the course to crowd support to start/finish line shuttles. I really felt the experience from this perspective was great. Everything was well supported and I'd highly recommend it to anyone looking for a great marathon or more specifically for those looking to run fast. Course and weather is very conducive to this.
This story doesn't start 15 weeks ago (at time of writing) as we began the more specific portion of our build up, but 2 years ago when I fractured my ankle and partially tore my peroneal longus tendon almost exactly 1 week before my wife ran CIM in 2022. This injury wrecked me like no other I have had in the past.
Prior to the fall of 2022, I had developed a deep fear of what I thought my body could handle when it came to running. Through my high school, college, and early post-college years I had been through so many injuries and never strung together more than 1.5 years of consistent training, most stents being closer to 6-9months. Because of this I became very meticulous about my training and put ceilings on it, most prominently rarely running more than 3x/wk for years. Nearly 4 years actually! I didn't really know or recognize it until it was gone. Late summer and into the fall of 2022 after 2 years of consistent and progressive training, I remember having thoughts about why I wasn't doing more and the feeling that I could do anything I wanted running related. Needless to say, I was really excited about the year to come!
Then, I injured my ankle during a traumatic accident. Other than not playing basketball that day, there wasn't anything I could have done to prevent it, but everything flipped back to how it had been the prior 4 years, feeling fragile. When the idea of running CIM in 2024 was presented in the fall of 2023, needless to say I was rather uncertain and apprehensive about it. Being a year out from injury, running was going ok, but there were still a lot of question marks around it for me and doubts. Being a coach and running specialist PT, I am quite familiar it is no light hearted affair to take on marathon training, let alone the race itself. Especially with what I knew I would want to do with it if I was registered. Even after a successful track season, these feelings bled into the following late spring/early summer when my wife made the decision for me by signing me up since I couldn't decide. I was locked in and had to do it now.
On top of this uncertainty about how I would tolerate things, I also knew that if I was going to do it, it wasn't going to be about finishing, but racing it. Seeing not just what I could do in the time we had, but what I believed I could based on prior half marathons. Ultimately, that meant having to find a way to get really close to PR fitness for the half and 5k. For reference I closed the spring season a little over 1 min from that for 5k on a nearly perfect day. It was going to be a tall order.
Expectations and fear were high, both battling each other.
The build up consisted of a lot of back forth between feeling pretty good about things one day and strong doubts the next. Largely, the build up went well! Especially when looking at it on paper. There were only a couple rough workouts and a 3 week block at the peak of training I was chronically tired, but still performing decently. Despite this, I really didn't have as much fun as I typically do training. I kinda just wanted it done and behind me. Check the box and move on. Not a mindset I would recommend or encourage. It was where I was at though in regards to this marathon.
You can see a summary of our training on Instagram here.
Onto race day!...
It was a typical start to the day like any long run, other than the early wake up call that is. 3 packets of maple and brown sugar oatmeal with some blue berries along with a my electrolyte and caffeine concoction complements of Precision and Nuun accounting for 500-550 calories and about 1,100mg sodium.
We gather our things and head to the shuttle that'll take us to the start. Following the experienced wisdom of my wife we immediately get into the lines for the porta-potties. There was already a lot of people around the start. Then, we immediately get back in line. Good call Em! Had we waited, we wouldn't have had time to go again. While waiting for round 2 I had a package of Bolt chews from Pro Bar for some additional carbs as it would be multiple hours between breakfast and race start. This also gave me another little hit of caffeine totaling about 120mg (a lot for me).
After round 2 with the porta-potty, we begin our warm up about 25min prior to the start. We do a little jog for 6.5min until we get to a good spot to do some dynamic stretches, drills, and strides. Once finished, we begin to jog to the start line stopping at one of the clothing donation bins.
Pro tip: pick up some sweats from a thrift store to warm up in or even start the race in. Most big races will have donation bins at the start and pick up all clothes discarded in the first couple miles or so to be donated to a local organization.
The Sacramento Running Association really puts on a great event with CIM. Perfect time of year with almost always great weather. Fast course with a net rolling downhill. Stocked aid stations with Precision Hydration and Fuel (highly recommend!). For being a point to point course, the crowd support is actually really good too!
However, Sunday December 8th 2024 was not my day. It wasn't a bad day by any means, but wasn't the break through, hero-like performance I wanted and ultimately needed to hit my goal.
I lined up at a spot that was far enough behind the 2:50 sign I wouldn't get caught up with people going out to fast, but close enough I would'n't get stuck behind those going slower than I wanted. Even with that, I didn't see the 2:55 pacers until the second mile and didn't catch them until mile 3. They were moving pretty good. Chatting with one of the pacers, they were aiming to bank a little time. Thus running only a little slower than my goal so I decided to hang with them through the hillier section of the race, up to about mile 9. From there I would pick it up and start working.
Into miles 4 and 5, I remember thinking that this didn't feel as easy as I had imagined or hoped for being 6,000ft lower in elevation. Not much I could have done at that point, but try to relax as much as possible. We trained for months (really years) and traveled to California for a big day so let's go for it. We had a long way to go though so I decided to go ahead and check the heart rate to confirm. It was confirmed, heart rate was more or less the same as it was running the same pace at 6,000ft. How is that possible!? Could be a number of factors. Yes, it felt harder than I hoped, but was still very manageable so didn't think much of it. Just focused on the task ahead and made a mental note to try and remember to grab a gel on courses as I was burning a little hotter than intended. I could then take it if needed/felt my stomach could tolerate it.
What was the plan for fueling/hydrating? I was going to have 60-65g of carbs/hr and 500mg of sodium/hr via 100 and 160 maurten gels, taking one every 30min. I ran with my naked belt containing a bottle that had 2 1500 precision hydration sachets (1500mg sodium) and an additional 30g of carbs. Although there were electrolytes on course, carrying my own allowed me to keep them and the carbs more dialed in and only needed to focus on getting water at the aid stations.
After mile 9 I left the pace group. A little more aggressive than intended, but it was what it was. Gradually the average pace was coming down with things looking good. Came through the half with just a couple minutes to cut down and feeling decent. Between mile 15 and 16, things started to shift though causing me to start being more intentional about the effort.
There was another guy I was going back forth with so I locked in on him and just let him pace me for a few miles. Around 19 I began losing contact and the pace. By 21 I had "really fallen" off. Ultimately, I still wasn't running that bad, still under 7min/mi. In the moment though, and being stuck on my sub 2:50 goal, I thought it was over. I couldn't hold that sub 6:30 pace. Totally disappointed, I walked briefly and then began running again for a bit. This repeated for the last 5.5mi until the finish. Never walking more than a minute knowing how much and how fast I would lose time walking. But the deal I made with myself was that if I was going to layer in these walk breaks, I had to really give it a go when running and that's what I did.
Looking back now, I think the better option would have been to coming to terms with running slower, but continuously. Who knows how the next 5.5 miles would go choosing this, but likely I would have run about 4min faster. Remember the pace group I left at mile 9?...Yeah, they passed me in this last stretch. Sensing things weren't going great early, maybe I should have stayed with them. Oh well.
I am confident the fitness was there. Even with that it was going to be close. The mindset and headspace going in wasn't right for it though. That absolutely had to be there to hit the goal as I didn't have the fitness buffer to have a bad day mentally and still hit the goal. When things got ugly, it got really ugly. Really fast. I went from what should have been within a few minutes of my goal to being ~10min away.
I wasn't super into this from the moment the idea was presented. But, this experience did two things for me.
I feel really good about what I can do mentally and physically again
Broke the ice for the marathon distance although I feel embarrassed by the experience
That embarrassment has lit a fire for it though and personally, I wouldn't want to be the marathon next time we meet.
Tentative plans are to revisit this in 2026. While I can't predict what will happen in life between now and then, what I can say is that 2026 me won't be able to hold a candle to 2024 me. Let's go!
This email isn't about developing a pity party or fishing for sympathy, or even the importance of your headspace going into a race. This is about showing up consistently. Continuing to keep going on the days you really don't want to. Not comparing your self or your progress to others. Even though you may not be where you want to be or think you should be at today. Of course we have to remember the roughly 15 years I had run up to 2022, but in two years I went from struggling to walk to running a 2:58 marathon. The next two years aren't anticipated to be any different in terms of development. If you don't keep trying for it, you can guarantee you won't get there. So just keep going!
Whether it's huge fitness gains, weight loss, becoming an expert in a given field, it is the long game you are most interested in. Nothing happens fast or overnight. Keep striving for progress and celebrating the little wins, no matter how small, or how they compare to your peers.
Until next time...happy running,
Adam Schwerdt, DPT, USATF Lv-1